'A hard blow'

I'm just saying that a friend used this phrase to describe the score of a musical for which he was trumpeting... and it made me giggle.

12 July 2025

Fliss Falconer

And, I thought it was also a good metaphor for tooting your own trumpet when you feel like a fraud… which is where this week's blog comes in...

Take a breath

It brought a surprising and humbling moment: I was asked to write a piece for the Gloucestershire County Council's Weekly Bulletin, reflecting on the recent award I received for demonstrating our council’s values of Empowerment and Collaboration in action. It’s safe to say I sat with a mixture of gratitude and nerves - wondering how best to encapsulate not only the honour, but the shared spirit behind it.

This is not my win. (And this is not me outwardly being humble and inwardly jumping up and down, gleefully grinning that the trophy is mine, miney-mine.) The win belongs to the incredible team in which I work, especially my Lead and her peers, who exemplify integrity, empathy, and collaboration every day. I simply had the chance to reflect the values they live.

The focus for the award was on the document I made and the strategic lead I undertook at the end of last year.

Luckily, I already have proof from last week that the document was completely ‘magpied’ material from the schools and professionals that I chucked some stars on for good measure.

Secondly, from the moment I had a voicemail from my Lead in January 2023, which I promptly played to my teaching colleague, Beth, I knew I had to work for her. (Beth, this is your moment to corroborate this!)

During the time she was away from her desk, she was still an ever-present voice in my head - I could hear her telling me not to be a 'nana' but I also felt unswerving confidence that it was all going to be ok and to soldier on to do her and the team proud. The reason we thrived? Her.

Give it your all

As part of my course this week, I have just been listening to John Wooden's TED talk 'The difference between winning and succeeding'. He is possibly the only sports person to whom I would choose to listen, and that does come from him being an English teacher first and foremost. Sports just isn't my thing. Anyway, he said success is 'doing the best of which you are capable'.

He also stressed that we should focus on success over winning: one main reason for me not understanding sports is the 'We won' element. Yes, you won... this game. What about the next one? You also didn't play yourself... ad infinitum.

Success though - that's a different ball game.

When I was teaching, my 'results' (though, again, not mine per se) were good. Never breath-taking. Just, that'll do. There's plenty more I could have done to support my students and their academic attainment had I time, energy, better training etc. and before I shift any more blame onto others, I could have done more were it my focus. It was never my focus. I wanted each student to know they had worth beyond their academic progress. That their As, Bs, Cs and later 3s, 4s, 7s and 9s were only a small fraction of the immense potential of their entire selves. I wanted them to feel cherished and loved and valued.

(Shocking memories are currently flooding my brain of where I got it wrong despite my best efforts. Raised voice, short temper, exasperation. Anger. Hurt. Fraud.)

I know I did my best. I did not always get it right. There are plenty of days where I went home full of anger and worry and dread, but I kept showing up. I apologised. I tried new tactics. I dug deep.

And I see ex-students from all my schools and the warm hellos and hugs tell of when I did get it right.

Lessons learned

Now I am a student myself, but also still a teacher, I am conscious of the need to live by my own maxims: Check the question. Hand your work in on time. If you want to be truly lazy, do it properly the first time.

So much of what I am reading on my course for this first module (assessing my own knowledge, skills and behaviours) is bringing back memories of teaching and other jobs: how to be a leader and what to avoid; who inspired me and how I want to emulate them; getting my act together and planning ahead.

(I must actually write the essay still... more of that to come.)

I don't know - I could sink into the pressure that 2025 is the year that I have taken on more than I have ever done before. Or I can take courage that I have gotten this far, and the plates are still spinning. I have done it, and I can continue to do it. I have won the award, and I can continue to strive for the next one. I can be considered as good a team-mate as any in the group, and I can continue to thrive with them.

Writing for the bulletin gave me pause to appreciate the ripple effect of our work. From working with our legal team, to transforming documents into models for distribution to schools and other professionals, each new initiative feels more meaningful when it's connected to a broader story - one of shared purpose, strategic grit, and sincere human connection.

This is just the beginning of the game.

(Oh, and my response to his week playing the tricky score? 'Toot well.')